Daddy, You Can Let Go.

One day, Daddy and I headed to the garage to pull out my pink and white bicycle that I had begged my parents to buy me for Christmas. It had been months since it was sitting underneath the tree and I still hadn't made an attempt to learn how to ride it. As Daddy assisted me in keeping my balance, I finally built up the confidence to say, "You can let go, Daddy". He did just that and I went peddling off until I got to the end of the driveway and felt his hand redirect my handlebars from heading into my Mama's fish pond in the front yard.

Years later, Daddy and I went on the adventure of teaching me how to drive a stick shift. I watched as he changed gears and cruised down the country road. Then it was my turn. He shifted the gears as I got acquainted with applying the clutch. Once I was comfortable enough, I put my hand on top of his and said, "Daddy, I got it. You can let go". He did just that and took off! I did well until I tried to drive up a hill.

In my eyes, my Daddy was able to do anything and solve any problem that he was faced with. Life took it's toll and time moved forward. Over time, I watched as my personal Superman start to fade away. I still remember the day, he looked as if he had a lot on his mind. I asked him what he was worried about, he softly said "Y'all". I assured him that we would be ok, but we wanted him to get better. During his final hospital visit, the head of the care team came in to talk to us about Daddy's heart function. He told my Daddy that it was not getting better and for the first time in my 36 years, I saw Daddy give up. Unlike times before, I could not muster up the strength to say, "Daddy, you can let go". I couldn't guarantee that I could be ok losing him too.

Exactly four months later, it's the first Father's Day without him. It still feels like a dream. Usually, we shower him with gifts and good food on this day, but now I am using the gifts he left behind. Daddy was a man of strong faith. He taught me that God will ease all pain and provide our needs. He showed unconditional love and was a true provider and protector. I would always tell him that I will have to marry a good man, because I've had an excellent example all of my life. Proverbs 20:7 (KJV) states: "7: The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him." Although coping has not been the easiest, I am grateful for the life long lessons that he taught me. So Daddy, you let go, but you left me in the Father's hands, and I'll be just fine.